“I want to live like a human being, too. How can I do better? I want to live more beautifully.”

The day of dancer Kim So-young (37), who has cerebral palsy, flows with dance, music, and contemplation for the stage. The documentary film <So-young’s Effort> portrays Kim’s life, in which “dance is like my own veins.” We met her on the 6th at a cafe in Dongdaemun-gu, Seoul.

Kim first encountered dance in her late twenties through a community center program. The experience of practicing dance for the first time and stepping onto a small stage remained a vivid memory. Continuing her desire for the stage, she reached out to Jeong Hee-jeong, head of Momo Dance Project, who had taught her at the time. This led to full-fledged collaboration with Jeong from 2023, during which she presented four performances, including at the Korea Disabled International Dance Festival.

Even for Kim, who says, “I am happiest in life when I am dancing,” there were times of anxiety over limitations due to disability and worries about her path. After graduating from a special-education school and becoming an adult, the reality she faced was a series of uncertainties. In her twenties, she worked in cleaning and at a center for independent living for persons with disabilities, but neither lasted long. Discouraged by repeated setbacks in social life, Kim finally gained confidence when she found dance.

Film director Oh Jae-hyung recognized Kim’s passion and proposed making a documentary. Kim, who said, “I wanted to see myself on camera, fix what I lack, and grow,” readily stepped in front of the lens. The barrier-free (with captions and audio description for people with hearing or visual impairments) film <So-young’s Effort>, which tells the story of Kim as she builds her own stage and world, was produced in 2024.

Director Oh did not stop at making the film; he created an Instagram account to share more of Kim’s daily life and thoughts. The videos posted there resonated widely, drawing hundreds of encouraging comments.

Kim learns choreography through a distinctive method of association, linking movements to words she speaks aloud. For example, if there is a sequence where the arms move from left to right and then from top to bottom, she imagines pressing 1, 3, and 9 on a phone keypad and says those numbers out loud. These words that pop out to cue the choreography become important artistic elements of the performance in their own right.

Kim loves the stage so much that she says, “My whole life has become dance,” yet she sometimes shrinks under society’s gaze toward disability. She fears that non-disabled people might think, “Is she crazy?” and at times her heart sinks as she wonders, “Should I just stay at home?”

Even so, what moves her is the desire to ‘do better’. Kim wants to stand on stage for a long time to come. That is why she remains cautious even in the face of praise from those around her. She said, “If my teacher keeps praising me, I am afraid I will think I am special, show off, and become rude,” adding, “Only by staying humble can I keep dancing.” Even her family’s dissuasion (warning that an injury could leave her unable to walk for life) did not dampen her resolve toward dance.

Practical concerns about livelihood and independence remain a daunting challenge. Yet Kim steps back onto the stage. “I am like glass that keeps breaking and shattering, but I am still a shard that rises again.”

The film <So-young’s Effort> opens nationwide on the 22nd. Ahead of that, crowdfunding for a special screening to be held on the 19th at Emu Cinema in Seoul runs until the 10th.